Sunday, March 04, 2012

Epiphany in Lent

In this case, of course, I mean epiphany as in "an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure." not the first Sunday in January as defined by the church calendar.

Thursday was sort of a perfect storm of burdens. There was the stress of my father's hospital recovery. Thursday we received notice for something that could be a major blow to his financial situation (which is already somewhat fragile). Thursday was also the date of a major family meeting with the hospital. Thursday we also experience a major (and unexpected) financial setback of our own. Some additional professional responsibilities were added on Thursday, and a potentially bad situation at church took a turn for the worse.

So on Thursday, there was major trouble in just about every aspect of my life. There was no place to go and pretend that everything was fine. Or even a way to postpone dealing with it.

And that's when I had my epiphany. Because right when I was at the breaking point, I realized that I wasn't alone. As scary as all those things were, we could work through them. All I had to do was just draw on the spiritual strength my faith give me, and I would have the energy I needed.

The major part of the epiphany was the realization that it wasn't about winning or losing. It was just about being guided to the best resolution (notice I didn't say "solution").

So how did it go? Our family meeting went pretty well. We did have a personality clash, but rather than exacerbate the conflict, I simply said "peace be with you" and moved on. The family meeting went better than I thought it would. Our finances still took a hit, but we'll work through it. And the big conflict at church turned out not to be a conflict -- once we moved beyond winning and losing. 

There are still a lot of major things to deal with in the coming weeks, but I'm facing them with the same calmness that descended on me Thursday.

So what am I giving up for Lent? It seems to be fear.

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