The Faux-ward Award

I'm very excited. Our small business just won 2009 Best of Orange (Virginia) Award for eating places by the US Commerce Association.

My partner and I have been running Digital Chips, Inc. since 1997 and it's nice to have some recognition. All I have to do is just pay for the cost of the award plaque (pictured, left), and we'll have something we can proudly display in our business.

I'm sure the US Commerce Association doesn't hand out awards frivolously.

I wonder when their examiners came to Orange to do their evaluations of our business? What was it that made them consider us the best? Was it our famous digital chips that won them over?

Tough to say.

Because, of course, this entire award is a sham. First off, we're not located in Orange. Our business' official address is 391 CC Road, Hood, Virginia (about 20 miles NW of Orange). We do use Dominion Market Research in Orange, Virginia for our warehousing and order fulfillment, but I don't recall them having anything especially good to eat there.

Secondly, Digital Chips, Inc. isn't even in the food service industry at all. We create custom music compilations for various clients (mostly public radio stations) and also run DCD Records and Distribution. The only platters we sell are vinyl.

The Better Business Bureau had some additional info about this organization that awards businesses for a non-existent restaurant in the wrong town.

So to sum up, an organization I've never heard of notifies me that I've won a contest I didn't enter. And that, for a small fee, I'll be able to collect my prize.

Sound familiar? It's the old lottery scam, a variant on the Nigerian 419 scam.

Boy, did they pick the wrong people! Just ask our Nigerian correspondents!

- Ralph