FedEx or FauxEx 2

Seems to me I just wrote about a fake email from FedEx just last month (FedEx or FauxEx?). And so I did. Arriving in my inbox today was a variation on the theme, and I must say it's not much of an improvement over the original. Here's the message. (click on image to enlarge)

The primary difference this time is that it's from the US Postal Service -- sort of.  The header says USPS, and the body of the letter talk about USPS, but it's signed "FedEx Services." Well, perhaps someday FedEx and UPS will take over the post office, but I don't think its happened yet.

It's still the same reason for non-shipment: the package is not the right size or weight (never mind the fact that I didn't order anything that might be an odd size or weight).

There's a tracking number. A quick check at USPS.com proved it to be bogus (no surprise).

The document's filled with fractured English:"keeping over limited time," "nearest post office of USPS," and so on.

And the label parcel I'm supposed to print out is  a zip file. It's s a self-extracting file that, once downloaded, will open itself up and probably install something on my computer (and I might not be aware of it, either).

There was one nice touch, though. If I don't claim this package, the USPS will charge me $9.23 a day for storage. It prompts one to act quickly to avoid all those charges -- and maybe not take the time to really consider what's going on.

Sadly, there will be plenty of people who will take this at face value and open the attachment. Worse, there will be some who will recognize that this is a scam, but open the attachment anyway just to see what will happen.

Not me. And hopefully not you, either, should this land in your mailbox.

What's British for Spam?

Received a very exciting email yesterday. Well, it would have definitely made my life more exciting should I have been foolish enough to respond. (click on image to enlarge)

Of course it's a phishing email, but as a famous consulting detective might say, it's not without certain points of interest.

The Bad
So how did I know this was a fake?  Easy. I don't have an account with Barklay's, either online or off. But suppose the spammers had been lucky enough to use a bank I did have an account with. would I have been fooled?

Probably not. Notice that I was blind copied this email. That means it was sent to a bunch of people. If this were truly a notice of unusual activity on my account, it should have come just to me.

Third, note the attachment. The 'html" tells me it's not really an attachment -- it's probably a link to a website. But where? I'm pretty sure that the actual website will be far different than what the header says it is.

The Good
Spelling counts! Usually, these types of email have goofy spelling or fractured syntax that provide clues that English isn't the first language of the writer, and certainly not any type of professional correspondence from an established firm. So they did get that right.

I also like the recommendation of the browser updates. Nicely done. Surely a spammer would prefer you use that outdated version of Internet Explorer with its multiple security leaks. But these folks don't need to worry about security. Because they've persuaded you to go to their website and voluntarily enter all your secure information.

The Takeaway
Not all spam is as painfully obvious as the type that Frank Drake or our other alter egos take on. Even though this one still had plenty of clues that call its authenticity into question, I'm sure there are plenty of Barklays customers that would click on that attachment. Personally, when I get an email from our bank with telling us to do some action, I go to the customer service number on our bank statement (not any found on the email) and call.

And that's a safety precaution that works every time.

FedEx or FauxEx?

I received this email yesterday. It didn't fool me for a second, but I suspect it did many others. Take a look and see if you notice anything wrong. (click on image to enlarge)

Where to start?

Since I've sent and received a fair number of FedEx packages over the years, there were a few things I noticed.

1. I didn't order anything. And certainly nothing that would exceed the FedEx weight limit (150 lbs.).
2. I wasn't expecting a shipment from anyone. I think if someone was sending me something weighing over 150 lbs., they'd give me some advanced warning. ("Hey, let me know when you get that refrigerator we overnighted to you.")
3. The tracking number's wrong. FedEx uses a 15-digit number with no letters.
4. There are no logos nor links within the email -- nothing to authenticate the source.
5. The biggest clue of all -- the type of attachment.

As my eyes glanced down the email, the first thing I saw was the attachment. It's a zip file.  Which means it's a self-extracting file that, once downloaded, will open itself up and most likely install software, or rather malware, on the computer.

No, I was not for a moment tempted to click on the link anyway just to see what would happen.

According to a 2010 survey of online security by Ipsos Public Affairs,

 Among those who have opened a suspicious email, over half (57%) say they have done so because they weren’t sure it was spam and one third (33%) say they have done so by accident. However, nearly half (46%) report having accessed spam intentionally. [italics mine]

 I'm not one of them.

Finally, I must say I was very disappointed with this effort. I think we did a much better job faking a FedEx shipment when we scammed a Nigerian 419 scammer in the Chronicles of Chuck.

A resounding faux of confidence

 I'm pretty sure we could do a better Photoshop job
than this.

Received this email notice the other day:

I am pleased to announce that Digital Chips has been selected as a winner of the 2012 Best of Orange Awards in the Eating Places category by the US Commerce Association (USCA).


I'm sure that your selection as a 2012 Winner is a reflection of the hard work of not only yourself, but of many people that have supported your business and contributed to the subsequent success of your organization. Congratulations on your selection to such an elite group of small businesses.


In recognition of your achievement, we offer a variety of ways for you to help promote your business... Additionally, as a winner of the 2012 Best of Orange Awards selection, you may select a customized award which has been designed for display at your place of business by following the simple steps on the 2012 Best of Orange Awards order form. 

A signal honor, indeed. And won that we've achieved before (The Faux-ward Award, 2009). Glad to be back in the winner's circle again as one of the best restaurants in Orange, VA.

And just as in 2009,

Digital Chips, Inc, still isn't in the food service industry.

Our offices are still in Hood, VA, not Orange.

We're still not fooled by this scam.

Still, that combo pack does look tempting...

Diplomat Raymond Comes to Town

As if yesterday's missive from the Central Bank of Nigeria wasn't enough, another arrived today that was even more impressive. The subject line read:

YOUR DIPLOMAT HAS NOW ARRIVE AT JACKSONVILLE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT FLORIDA,CONTACT HIM NOW. (diplomatraymond@[email address]) or (XXX)-900-XXXX

(I'm deliberately blocking out the email and phone so as not to tempt someone to contact them out of curiosity)

Well, that got my attention! My very own diplomat?! Tell me more!

The text of the email did just that:

This is to notify you that your funds USD 2.2M has been programmed for  immediate release into your nominated account but we can not transfer this funds direct to your nominated bank account, because we are having a little problem with International Monetary Fund (IMF) so our method of payment is via Diplomatic Courier Service.Contact him now, his name (Dip Raymond Edward) for the release of your fund through diplomatraymond@[email address] )or call (XXX-900-XXXX).

 Wow! 2.2 million dollars! I better contact my diplomat right away!

There are a few details of interest about this particular Nigerian 419 scam. First off, the official-sounding email address. "diplomatraymond" Really? I'm sure that's just how they assign them at the State Department. "Sure, your Excellency, just email me at diplomatjoe@state.gov."

And the use of a 900 telephone number is a nice touch. Even if someone calls out of curiosity intending to listen just for a second (and what are the odds that they won't be kept on the phone as long as possible?) the scammer makes a little cash. And sadly, there's no doubt in my mind that this number's been dialed more than once (which is why I redacted most of it).

Maybe it is time Frank Drake came out of retirement...

A Surprise, Indeed!

This must be phishing season. Hard on the heels of the Dunkin Donut offer, I received an even more unusual request. It was from the Central Bank of Nigeria. And the subject line was the following (with nothing in the body of the email):

I know that you might be surprise on this mail, but I am telling you the truth. What I want to tell you is about your fund with the Federal Government of Nigeria. I will explain to you in full details when you get back to me with my private email at: [email address].

Well, might be surprise, indeed! It completely slipped my mind that I had deposited money in a foreign bank. Especially Nigeria.


It's been a while since we've had some virtual fun, and I'm tempted to respond. But as who? Frank Drake? Alf Monroe? Roy Rogers? Or perhaps it's time for someone new to enter the scene. Suggestions welcome!

The Dunkin Donuts Decoy

I received the following message via email this morning:

Amazing!, DunkinDonuts is gifting out free gift cards. Hurry up, Do not waste any time. Here is webpage - [shortened URL w/redirect] Theres only 5 left!!!

I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the HOUYHNHNMS If this new phase was spontaneous, or in any way due to her peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat me as an enemy, 

I didn't post the actual web address on purpose -- in case someone might be tempted to click on it "to see what would happen."


But I must say as a phishing email goes, this one's pretty strange. It starts off well enough, then devolves into I don't know what. HOUYHNHNMS is a puzzle. Could it be the transliteration of a foreign term?

If this is the state of spamming these days, then I'm very disappointed. And so is Frank Drake.

Where's Ralph? Footballing in Nigeria

Ken and I just wrapped up another Nigerian scammer scam -- our fifth. This one just happened by accident. It started when I received an email from a friend I had seen just a few hours before. The email claimed said a friend had been mugged in London and needed money to come home! I wrote my friend to let him know his email address book had been hacked, but it was the scammer who responded!

The game was on. I kind of made this one up as I went along. We soon moved from reality to "Green Acres," which somehow lead to a showdown between two dead presidents (or rather, their relatives). And then, all of a sudden, everything changed, and Roy Rogers (as played by Ken) rode onto the scene.

I've changed the name of my friend, but otherwise the emails are exactly as we received them. Chapter One has the bulk of the tale, Chapter Two begins when our favorite Texas oilman enters the scene.

I must say, the scammers' fake documents were better than we've seen to date, but I think our fake documents are still better -- I wonder sometimes if we're on the right side of this game.

Make sure you read carefully. We sprinkled the letters with puns, pop culture references, and made-up Western slang that probably didn't translate well.

For your reading pleasure, we present the Story of John and Marsha and Roy.

Chapter One: John and Marsha
Chapter Two: John and Roy

Where's Ken? Sailing to Nigeria

We've just wrapped up another Nigerian 419 scammer scam. I say "we" because I was able to make a few modest contributions to Ken's efforts. This is a mighty tale of adventure on the high seas with that old salt, Captain Frank Drake of Golden Hind Marine Salvage.

Captain Frank often states that he hates pirates and yet he seems surrounded by them. Many of his associates are either actual pirates or characters from "Treasure Island."

There's some other background information which might help you further appreciate our story: Golden Hind Marine Salvage is located at Surfside Six, Miami Beach which references an old TV detective show that was a spin-off of "77 Sunset Strip."

Frank's initial business partner is Travis McGee, John D. McDonald's fictional detective based in Florida. McGee often described himself as a salvage expert (see how it all ties together?).

The part of Captain Frank Drake is played by Henry Kulke. This character actor portrayed the gruff, plain-spoken Chief Petty Office Curly, part of the Seaview's crew on "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea."

Captain Drake and his adventures manage to keep our Nigerian scammer, "Mr. George Khumato" on the hook for 50 days -- a new record for Ken!

Personally, I'm disappointed at the quality of Mr. Khumato's documentation. I think we did a much better job, like the poster we created above (click on the image to see it full-size). We might be on the wrong end of this racket.

Click the link below to download the PDF of our latest caper.

Captain Frank and George PDF

One final thing: the secret coded message is a simple cryptogram. Can you decypher it? Enjoy!

- Ralph

The Faux-ward Award

I'm very excited. Our small business just won 2009 Best of Orange (Virginia) Award for eating places by the US Commerce Association.

My partner and I have been running Digital Chips, Inc. since 1997 and it's nice to have some recognition. All I have to do is just pay for the cost of the award plaque (pictured, left), and we'll have something we can proudly display in our business.

I'm sure the US Commerce Association doesn't hand out awards frivolously.

I wonder when their examiners came to Orange to do their evaluations of our business? What was it that made them consider us the best? Was it our famous digital chips that won them over?

Tough to say.

Because, of course, this entire award is a sham. First off, we're not located in Orange. Our business' official address is 391 CC Road, Hood, Virginia (about 20 miles NW of Orange). We do use Dominion Market Research in Orange, Virginia for our warehousing and order fulfillment, but I don't recall them having anything especially good to eat there.

Secondly, Digital Chips, Inc. isn't even in the food service industry at all. We create custom music compilations for various clients (mostly public radio stations) and also run DCD Records and Distribution. The only platters we sell are vinyl.

The Better Business Bureau had some additional info about this organization that awards businesses for a non-existent restaurant in the wrong town.

So to sum up, an organization I've never heard of notifies me that I've won a contest I didn't enter. And that, for a small fee, I'll be able to collect my prize.

Sound familiar? It's the old lottery scam, a variant on the Nigerian 419 scam.

Boy, did they pick the wrong people! Just ask our Nigerian correspondents!

- Ralph

Nigerian 419 revisited

Ken has a lot of fun using Nigerian 419 scammers as unwitting collaborators for some impromptu literary efforts. But he's fully aware of the dangers that such spammers represent and takes appropriate precautions.

Our last post was about Ken's latest spoof, and shortly after that results of a survey by the Messaging Anti-Abuse Working Group (MAAWG) came to my attention. In our last post we made two assumptions that apparently aren't true.

1) Most people are familiar with the Nigerian 419 scam, and would never fall for it.
2) Most people are aware of the dangers of spamming.

According to the survey, 17% said they responded by mistake. OK, we all make them. But look at the other figures: 13% didn't know why they responded. Worse, 13% sent a note back ( primarily to complain and ask to be removed from the list). Of course, they weren't aware that by responding, they confirmed that their email address was real, making it valuable as resell item to other spammers.

Almost as incredible were the 12% that admitted they were interested in the products. I don't even know where to start. But keep that stat in mind as you clean out your inbox of emails for "V!agra" "Hot women in your area" and of course, missives involving Nigerian Ministers of the Interior.

And finally, there was a significant percentage that clicked on the links "just to see what would happen." Wow. It's sort of like seeing a land mine and stepping on it anyway just to see what would happen.

Apparently, there's still a lot of ignorance out there. So let's issue a disclaimer for Ken's Nigerian hijinx. Unless you really know what you're doing, do not try this at home. Especially if you click on things just to see what happens. People do get sucked into the scam, and many of them do lose all their money. Our goal is to show the scam for what it is by pointing out the absurdity of the claims.

But please: leave this kind of thing to Roy Rogers, Clark Kent, Boris Karloff and the others who know what they're doing.

- Ralph

Day 100 of the WJMA Podwatch.

Where's Ken? Happy Trails to Nigeria

Well, Ken's done it again. He's engaged in a lively correspondence with another Nigerian 419 scammer. In the past, he's spun scammers along with a dizzying cast of characters surrounding Clark Kent and Kent Enterprises, and a would-be dollar chopper's wearying experience with Boris Karloff.

Ken's latest story only runs for about two weeks. Mr. Smith Zuma bailed before things got really interesting.

Even though it's a torso rather than a completed work, I still think it's a great read. Mr. Zuma has the good fortune to contact Roy Rogers, who owns a sprawling ranch and mining operation in Tombstone, Arizona. Ken manages to work in references to Gene Autry, and his 1935 serial, "The Phantom Empire."

I think Ken does a much better job with documents then Mr. Zuma, and it's too bad our friend didn't pay more attention to the details in Roy's responses.

This should have gone on for at least another two weeks, especially with the introduction of Mr. Roger's personal secretary, who -- to protect her promised 5% -- is telling Mr. Zuma how to manipulate our somewhat eccentric and gullible mark.

Here's the entertaining, yet incomplete, saga of Mr. Smith Zuma.

Smith Zuma PDF

- Ralph

Day 100 of the WJMA Podwatch. (I feel like we ought to mark this occasion in some fashion. Cake, perhaps?)

Where's Ken? Still in Nigeria

Longtime readers have noted Ken's absence from "CE Conversations." He's still around, and we can still look forward to his pithy posts. Ken's been busy both with strenuous physical competitions and inspired fiction writing.

Yes, Ken's been scamming another Nigerian 419 scammer. And this one is even more inspired than the last one.

Our cast of characters involve stars of Universal's horror movies, beginning with Boris Karloff. Boris is reimagined as a Texas businessman, prone to strange cowboy aphorisms invented by Ken. The scammer, the Honorable Dr. Charles Ibeh is hard-pressed to keep up with these bogus colloquialisms, at one point admonishing Boris in tortured syntax to "please use good english when addressing me okay [sic]." He even gets so flustered he starts signing his e-mails Ibeh Charles!

Why the FedEx logo for this post? When Lon Chaney enters the picture, this international carrier plays a pivotal role.

Read and enjoy "The Chronicles of Chuck."

And please -- don't let anyone you know fall for this scam.

- Ralph

Where's Ken?

If the "CE Conversation" has been a little one-sided recently, it's because half of our blog contributors have been busy elsewhere. Ken's been involved with some major races (see the details at 70.3 for Me).

Ken's also been indulging an urge to do some fiction writing and did some serious scam baiting over the past few months. For those not familiar with the sport, the goal is to discourage Internet scammers by tying up their time pursuing marks that don't pan out.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian 419 scam is going strong, and enough people fall for these ruses that a cottage industry has evolved that takes in millions from naive folks all over the world.

Ken isn't one of those. With his permission, I'm posting his recent correspondence with one such scammer. It's a tale of high finance and intrigue -- and for those familiar with the Superman canon, it's full of humor, too.

Since this PDF was constructed after the scam had run its course, some of the original e-mails are missing, but enough remains to follow the story arc.

My writing partner has promised to return to this blog, but in the meantime, here's what our friend has been up to.

The Kent Saga PDF.

- Ralph

#nigeria